Ed was once
a member of the preeminent boy band, Master
Jail Baiters. Theirs was a new
sound, blending techno beats with folk harmonies and smothering rock riffs on
top of punk attitude. Their first
single, “Moving in with Maurice”, charted #12 on the Billboard Top 40. After a string of hits that launched MJB—as fans
call it—into the musical mainstream, creative differences threatened to rip the
band apart. Torn between
commercial success and artistic integrity, Ed asked himself: “What would Bea
Arthur do?” He decided the
multi-talented thespian would opt for artistic integrity, and so Ed quit the
band. Shortly after his departure, his ex-band
mates underwent a series of dramatic lifestyle choices and re-emerged as a new
musical outfit: The Pussycat Dolls.
As his old
band entered a new stratosphere of success, depression devoured Ed. He succumbed to a shopping addiction that he
believed he had left behind long ago.
His loft apartment soon resembled a storage unit containing boxes and
boxes of his favorite purchases: knick-knacks.
One day, as Ed waited in line with a basketful of knick-knacks, he asked
himself again: “What would Bea Arthur do?”
He decided she would grab life by the throat and refuse to let go until
it had vomited up what she wanted.Ed
dropped his basket and left the store, never to return again.
Eager to
resume his life on the track to success again, Ed picked up the inspirational
text, Don’t Hassel the Hoff: An
Autobiography. It quickly became his
favorite book. Still looking to reach
for
the stars, Ed found inspiration in the blockbuster hit film From Justin
to Kelly. Ed was on his way, but he needed one more
push in the right direction. With a
little help from a radio knob and a DJ, his final blast of inspiration came
from musical philosophers Starship and their hit We Built This City. Ed, too,
was about to build his own city of success, with Bea Arthur as the master
architect of a glorious future.